The topic of this persuasive essay is “How Place and self related”. It is our first formal essay for this class. I think that the purpose of it is to let us be more familiar and thinking more on “Place”, which is the main topic of this English 221 class.
We wrote proposal and bibliography before we officially wrote the paper. This is my first time to do this before writing a paper. I do think that it is really helpful. With the proposal, I can think about what I am going to write about more thoroughly. With the proposal, I can be more clear on what sources I am going to use in the essay and how I can make the structure of them clearer.
The first time I saw the question of this, I thought it is a very wide topic. There are many things to write about on it. Therefore, in my first proposal, I wrote a wide range of topics that I wanted to work on. Professor told me that it was too much, and she even joked that I would need to write a whole book to cover all of them. Later, I narrowed the topic to one specific topic, the definition of home, and began to work on it.
I began the work three days before deadline, so it was a little bit rush. I wrote it fast, because I already knew what I was going to write about with the help of the proposal and bibliography. I did proofreading after the first draft, but the main things I focused on was mostly grammar. There are many structure problems and content problems that I did not pay much attention to. I did poorly on the first version because of that.
After I got the feedback of my first version, I began to see the comments and lower/higher order concerns written by Professor Holt on it. I went through it very carefully and after talking to professor and some other ESL tutors. I knew what my problems about this paper are. This time, I began to focus more on the content of the essay, not just grammar. I made all my statements more explicitly, and gave definitions of many specific words or phrases I used in the paper. In that way, I hope my paper can be more understandable and easier to read to the readers. I worked on the grammar as well in order to make it better.
I really put a lot of effort on this second version. I really hope that it is much better than the first version. Here is the link to the second version of my paper:/version-2-of-the-persuasive-essay.html
We wrote proposal and bibliography before we officially wrote the paper. This is my first time to do this before writing a paper. I do think that it is really helpful. With the proposal, I can think about what I am going to write about more thoroughly. With the proposal, I can be more clear on what sources I am going to use in the essay and how I can make the structure of them clearer.
The first time I saw the question of this, I thought it is a very wide topic. There are many things to write about on it. Therefore, in my first proposal, I wrote a wide range of topics that I wanted to work on. Professor told me that it was too much, and she even joked that I would need to write a whole book to cover all of them. Later, I narrowed the topic to one specific topic, the definition of home, and began to work on it.
I began the work three days before deadline, so it was a little bit rush. I wrote it fast, because I already knew what I was going to write about with the help of the proposal and bibliography. I did proofreading after the first draft, but the main things I focused on was mostly grammar. There are many structure problems and content problems that I did not pay much attention to. I did poorly on the first version because of that.
After I got the feedback of my first version, I began to see the comments and lower/higher order concerns written by Professor Holt on it. I went through it very carefully and after talking to professor and some other ESL tutors. I knew what my problems about this paper are. This time, I began to focus more on the content of the essay, not just grammar. I made all my statements more explicitly, and gave definitions of many specific words or phrases I used in the paper. In that way, I hope my paper can be more understandable and easier to read to the readers. I worked on the grammar as well in order to make it better.
I really put a lot of effort on this second version. I really hope that it is much better than the first version. Here is the link to the second version of my paper:/version-2-of-the-persuasive-essay.html